Manners of Sex Ed
by populardarling
Summary: Effie Trinket decides to give Katniss and Peeta the Sex Talk. Katniss/Peeta, Effie/Haymitch


**Here is another prompt I've written for PromptsinPanem. **

**I hope you all enjoy, and please tell me what you think!**

**Also, I _will _be writing Rumor has It, Landers, and Waiting for Her hopefully soon. I'm starting back in school/my sorority again. So my life is starting to become crazy again. **

**Terri**

* * *

It was a traveling day on the Victory Tour, a day Peeta and Katniss often enjoyed because it meant they didn't have to pretend for the country, but Effie Trinket had other things in mind.

"They need this," she told Haymitch, zippering up her floral dress. The old man grunted his response from his bed and told her to close the door on her way out. She huffed at his rudeness- didn't he even _want_ to give her a small kiss goodbye, especially after last night? "You should talk with Peeta," she continued.

"What for? The boy's seventeen." Haymitch rolled over in his bed and squinted at the bright light over the vanity mirror. "I'm pretty sure he knows about sex."

Effie started to tease her wig for the day and pursed her lips. Of all the people she had to be attracted to she had to be attracted to stubborn and crabby Haymitch Abernathy. "We don't want rumors to start. It's bad manners." She heard the bed creak under his weight and couldn't help the tiny smile that graced her ghostly pale face when his hands touched her lower back. People would never believe Haymitch Abernathy was a sweet man, but Effie knew it and that's all that mattered to her. It just took a lot of digging around to see it.

"You know what will happen to them," he whispered, running his hand through her long chestnut brown hair. "Don't scare them."

She did know what would happen to her two Victors, and what was at stake for them, but Effie still believed in staying decent in this wretched world.

"I appreciate your help," she said, pushing him back to the bed, "but I don't need it. If you won't give Katniss and Peeta the sex talk, then I will." He fell back onto the turquoise sheets and rubbed his eyes. She continued getting ready until every hair was in place and every wrinkle was gone. "Those two kids need to understand that what goes on behind doors doesn't always stay secret."

An uncommon smile formed behind Haymitch's grubby beard. "Isn't it a bit hypocritical to yell at them about what they do behind closed doors while you're getting ready in _my _room?" She scoffed at him, throwing a pillow his way and told him what they were doing was different. "How?"

"It just is!" Effie protested, slamming the door in her wake, leaving her laughing lover to deal with his own drunken demons.

The train was quiet as Effie made her way through each compartment until she reached Katniss' door.

"Wakie wakie!" she chirped, knocking sharply at the door. "It's going to be another big big _big_ day!" She heard some shuffling going on behind the closed door and pursed her stenciled heart-shaped lips. Peeta was in there with her. Again. "Katniss?" she called, knocking again. "Dear, are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" Katniss croaked. "I'm just finishing getting ready."

"May you open the door for me, please?" Something sounded like it fell from inside and Effie wondered what those two were up to. Were they..._at it _right _now? _"This is terribly rude," she muttered under her breath. "I'm waiting!" she argued, tapping her pink stiletto toe on the plush carpeting.

The lock to the door made a clicking sound and Katniss emerged, her hair still knotted, dark bags under her eyes, and what looked like yesterday's clothes still on. Well, at least when she spent the night at Haymitch's Effie made sure to keep up her appearance.

"Good morning," Effie said stiffly, eyeing her Victor with critical eyes.

Katniss awkwardly rubbed her hands up and down her arms, not sure what to say. _As it _should, Effie thought. The girl should feel embarrassed she was caught in the act.

"Morning," the girl muttered, looking down at her bare feet.

"And good morning to you, too, Peeta!" Effie called out to the open space behind Katniss. The boy in question awkwardly made his way over to stand behind Katniss, and Effie was more shocked at his appearance. His normally neatly combed hair looked as though fingers were pulled through it, his face still looked sweaty, and were those scratch marks she detected on his arms? She blanched at the thought.

Katniss and Peeta were having rough sex.

Oh dear.

She never would have suspected, especially with how sweet the two were together. She studied the two, both eyes studying them up and down until both teenagers were shifting uncomfortably on their feet.

"Is there something we can help you with?" Katniss asked, refusing to look at her now.

They might as well start the talk now given the situation. "Yes," she said, "there is something I want to talk about, but first, please dears, put some decent clothes on." She motioned toward Katniss' wrinkled apparel and Peeta's lack of a shirt. They both flushed red and Peeta muttered how they would meet her in the living room compartment in ten minutes.

* * *

"This is a vagina," Effie instructed, pointing at the projector screen she had an Avox put up for her presentation. "Now, Katniss, can you please tell me what happens to a woman every month?"

Katniss' already dark purple face seemed to darken more. She nervously pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and stumbled over her answer, "It, uh... We bleed," she squeaked in embarrassment. Peeta rubbed her back sympathetically.

"Very good!" Effie exclaimed, moving her fan along the image. "But before a woman bleeds she has a tiny egg pass through her fallopian tubes. See?" Effie holds up a small pearl and brings it along the tube. "It's a tiny egg, but if it meets a certain Mr. Sperm, this tiny egg can lead to a big big big problem!" The two teenagers slunk down on the couch Effie had them sit in. "Now the egg travels to here," she explained, stopping at the lining, "and it stays there until your period!"

Effie motioned for the Avox to turn to the next image of a man's penis. "This is a penis. Peeta, as I'm sure you know, a man's penis contains sperm. Now, if you were to put your penis in Katniss' vagina, and you came during that hot and intense moment of pleasure, there is a threat of a pregnancy."

"Oh god!" Katniss moaned, covering her face in embarrassment. "Effie, we know-"

"Listen to me, young lady," she snapped, waving her fan at the girl. "Do you know how poorly it would look on me if you two find yourselves pregnant before the wedding? Do you have _any _idea how poorly that would look on me, on _all _of us?" Neither Victor argued with her and she smiled, pleased with how well-mannered they were now behaving. "Very good. Now, let's talk about all the safe ways to still have fun yet still be safe! Next slide, please."

The two teens groaned in unison as slide four out of sixty showed up.

Effie had a lot to teach them.

* * *

"So did you poison them?" Haymitch slurred that night, taking one last sip of red wine before pulling the covers over them both. "They wouldn't even _look _at me during dinner." He laughed. "Did you tell them about your own experience?"

Effie blushed, continuing to brush her long hair out of its confined pins. "Absolutely not, Haymitch! That's very improper to talk about _personal_ experiences!"

"Then what'd you talk about?"

"I gave them instructional criticism on sexual intercourse," she sniffed.

"And that took four hours?"

"I had a lot to say," is all she said before setting her brush down on the nearest nightstand.

"Don't you always, Trinket?" he chuckled, running his callous hand up and down her leg. She brushed him away.

"Manners," she scolded before turning over to go to sleep. "Remember your manners or you get none of this.


End file.
